You guys. These are mine. I own kickboxing gloves. And, I have a survived one kickboxing class and two boot camp classes in the past 5 days. It�s part of a 6 week challenge I�m in thanks to a friend. I wince when I walk down stairs or sit to pee (sorry, but it�s true!). My quads are screaming. Back muscles I haven�t thought about for a long time make their presence known as I pick up the baby. Aside from a few yoga classes and maybe two runs, I haven�t worked out since Oliver was born. Oliver will be 1 in two weeks.
I need this. Not to the lose the baby weight. That�s gone already. Not to fit in my clothes. The intense healing diet mentioned in the aforementioned Facebook post helped with that. I need this to feel like me again, to carve out something that is just for me, to feel live and present in my own body again. Running, too. I miss running. It makes me feel alive. So, this is self care. This is self love.
It�s taking schedule rearranging and commitment, extra help from my support network (so thankful for them) and some added flexibility on the kids� parts. But for me, right now, this is what it looks like to be a good mom. The more present I am in my own body, in my own self� the more present I can be with and for my kids.
The same goes with writing. I need to write. It�s part of who I am. It makes me feel alive. It helps me know what I know. So along with getting my butt into that kickboxing gym, I�m getting my butt back in this space. The other day I went to post on instagram about the kickboxing challenge when I decided I needed to make it a blog post, needed to come back to this place.
On Facebook the other day I shared that I will be finding my way back to my blog.
I�ve been meaning to come and write, but there hasn�t been time� or maybe it�s really space. I haven�t had the space to process and share. My brain is about to explode, because it needs to process and share. I�m getting there.
One kid is at drama class. The other is enjoying some long awaited computer time. The baby is asleep. Here I am. I grabbed a cup of coffee and a few minutes to write. There are a billion other things to do, but I matter. I matter at least as much as they do. Don�t get me wrong. I�ll click post in a minute and get moving. I probably won�t even proofread this, forgive me. I�ll do laundry and dishes. I�ll practice handwriting with one kid, and check the other one�s math all while nursing the baby. I�ll do all the things I do every day that are important to my family and our life. But they can wait until I am finished here because I�m important, too.
This is me claiming time and space to be me amid the messy and hard of being a mom, wife, home educator, homemaker, personal chef, and a billion other hats we all wear. This is me getting back to my strength, joy, and passion� back in my writing, back in my workouts, back in every part of who I am. My kids need a radiant present mama. Life�s been intense and exhausting for months. We�ve managed in survival mode. I have poured out every ounce of myself for my family in this time. Life�s not changing, and we can�t stay in survival mode forever. It�s time to adjust and move on. Time to fill my bucket so I have more to give. My kids need to see what it looks like to live, to thrive not just survive. This is me and #operationthrive. I�m ready.
I�ll be posting on instagram and facebook with #operationthrive, Join me! Tag you doing things that look like thriving for YOU! Because you matter.
And, I�ll be writing here again soon. If I don�t, message me� email me� bang on my door� whatever it takes.
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