I hope you've already seen this post from Nerdy Apple Bottom. If not, go now, and read it. She writes about her son choosing to dress up as a female character for Halloween. He's 5. The moms of the other children did not take this well.
My favorite quote:
I handmade my son a hot pink bird costume because that's what he wanted to be for the school play. But, I'll be honest, last year when he wanted to be a princess for Halloween, I steered him in another direction. Why? Because, it was easy to do. Easy because he was little and didn't mind. Easy in that I didn't have to figure out how to deal with having a son dressed up like a princess. If he had pushed, if he had really wanted to be only a princess, we would have worked with it. But instead, I gently steered him into what he was supposed to want to be. What the hell? Why?
For quite some time, I've struggled with where do I draw this line. Am I allowing him to make his own decisions without forcing societal norms on him? He loves pink. He loves Tinkerbell. He loves sparkly stuff. And when he outright asks for stuff like that, I don't say no. He can have pink stuff. We own Tinkerbell's movies and watch them often. I'm not one of those parents. You know the ones. The ones who will only let their boys play with trucks, dinosaurs, and boy stuff. We had family members comment when B got a kitchen for his 2nd birthday... and when they see him the pink doll stroller that we got free off of freecycle. They weren't being rude or mean, they were just surprised that we would do those things. So, see? I'm not one of those people.
Or am I? When I am at the store looking at something I'm going to buy for him and there's a blue one with dinosaurs (which he does love) and a pink one with Tinkerbell (which he also loves), which do I buy? The dinosaurs. Why? Because I'm supposed to. Maybe he would have liked that Tinkerbell one more. Maybe I should have bought it. But he was pretty darn happy with dinosaurs because didn't know Tinkerbell was an option.
I don't know the answer. I hope that the fact that because we are aware enough to care and open enough to welcome our son whoever he is, we're not screwing this up entirely. Because, c'mon, loving pink has pretty much nothing to do with being gay. Pink is just a color. And even if it was more than a color, it doesn't matter. Because whether he likes pink, hates pink, is gay or straight, we love and accept our son for the amazing person he already is at the age of three, and we get immense joy out of getting to know him (and ourselves in the process).
Who knows, maybe it will be a very pink Christmas around here. Whatever B wants.
My favorite quote:
It's a pretty powerful post in light of recent months with topics of bullying and homosexuality being on everyone's radar. I appreciated it as a mom of a little boy whose favorite color is pink. I admire this woman a lot. She did what I have strived to do but not always succeeded.
If you think that me allowing my son to be a female character for Halloween is somehow going to �make� him gay then you are an idiot. Firstly, what a ridiculous concept. Secondly, if my son is gay, OK. I will love him no less. Thirdly, I am not worried that your son will grow up to be an actual ninja so back off.
I handmade my son a hot pink bird costume because that's what he wanted to be for the school play. But, I'll be honest, last year when he wanted to be a princess for Halloween, I steered him in another direction. Why? Because, it was easy to do. Easy because he was little and didn't mind. Easy in that I didn't have to figure out how to deal with having a son dressed up like a princess. If he had pushed, if he had really wanted to be only a princess, we would have worked with it. But instead, I gently steered him into what he was supposed to want to be. What the hell? Why?
For quite some time, I've struggled with where do I draw this line. Am I allowing him to make his own decisions without forcing societal norms on him? He loves pink. He loves Tinkerbell. He loves sparkly stuff. And when he outright asks for stuff like that, I don't say no. He can have pink stuff. We own Tinkerbell's movies and watch them often. I'm not one of those parents. You know the ones. The ones who will only let their boys play with trucks, dinosaurs, and boy stuff. We had family members comment when B got a kitchen for his 2nd birthday... and when they see him the pink doll stroller that we got free off of freecycle. They weren't being rude or mean, they were just surprised that we would do those things. So, see? I'm not one of those people.
Or am I? When I am at the store looking at something I'm going to buy for him and there's a blue one with dinosaurs (which he does love) and a pink one with Tinkerbell (which he also loves), which do I buy? The dinosaurs. Why? Because I'm supposed to. Maybe he would have liked that Tinkerbell one more. Maybe I should have bought it. But he was pretty darn happy with dinosaurs because didn't know Tinkerbell was an option.
I don't know the answer. I hope that the fact that because we are aware enough to care and open enough to welcome our son whoever he is, we're not screwing this up entirely. Because, c'mon, loving pink has pretty much nothing to do with being gay. Pink is just a color. And even if it was more than a color, it doesn't matter. Because whether he likes pink, hates pink, is gay or straight, we love and accept our son for the amazing person he already is at the age of three, and we get immense joy out of getting to know him (and ourselves in the process).
Who knows, maybe it will be a very pink Christmas around here. Whatever B wants.
ความคิดเห็น
แสดงความคิดเห็น